“Dr. Happy,” has been speaking and writing on happiness ever since developing his own deep, inner happiness twenty years ago. Bob is Professor Emeritus from UC San Francisco and is the author of Happy 4 Life: Here’s How to Do It.. Dear Readers, please send your happiness questions to “Ask Dr. Happy” at Pollyannan@aol.com
Dear Dr. Happy, I HATE mornings! I HATE getting up in the morning. I’m just not a morning person. I have to get up by seven because of my job but on weekends I like staying in bed till noon, but my husband really resents it when I do; he’s up by seven even on weekends when he doesn’t have to. I stay up reading or watching TV till midnight or even later. We’ve been married 1 years and have no children. This is affecting our marriage; he’s getting angry at me and I’m angry with him. Help!|
Night Gal
Dear Night Gal, Some of us are morning people and some of us are night people. Unfortunately, you and your husband (and job) are out of sync on this. There is, I’m afraid, no easy solution. You and your husband need to negotiate, perhaps with a therapist’s help, otherwise your mutual resentments which are already high, may threaten your marriage. The first step is for both of you to accept that you have different bio-rhythms and that this doesn’t mean either of you is a bad person. Arrange, when possible to do more things in the afternoon when you are both alert. Perhaps you could similarly rearrange your work hours; discuss this with your boss. The key here is for you and your husband to accept each other’s different bio-rhythms without judgment and with compassion and understanding. Only then can you work to maximize your time together where you overlap.