Yes, you read that correctly! This article will tell you how to fall out of love. As a Marriage Coach, I spend countless hours sharing how we can create great marriages. However, I’ve noticed that people don’t really seem to be interested in adopting any of the habits or the mindset required to create the fulfilling, long-lasting marriages they say they want. It seems that so many couples truly believe that if they love their partner and their partner loves them, that will be enough. Well, that is the furthest from the truth. Love will never ever be enough to sustain a happy marriage.
No one gets married believing that their marriage will be unhappy, or that they will end up divorced. Yet the choices that many of us make each day often create the exact opposite of what we say we want from love and marriage. You know, the choice not to listen to one another. The choice to get yourself a drink or snack, and not ask your partner if they would like anything. The choice to put our kids, family members and friends first. The choice to micro cheat by talking to members of the opposite sex on social media. The choice to hide those new shoes or that new golf club. The choice to neglect one another in the bedroom. The choice not to do household chores together, or not to help take care of your children. The choice to think about your needs and wants without considering those of your partner. The choice to yell at each other or shut down. The choice of avoiding being vulnerable, because it may be too uncomfortable. The choice to watch too much TV. The choice not to exchange gifts anymore. The choice to not accept each other’s imperfections and love unconditionally. The choice to hold onto past mistakes and withhold forgiveness. The choice of not learning how to resolve conflict in a healthy way. The choice to do nothing while the quality of your marriage deteriorates. The choice of not valuing each other and expecting that things should be “our way.” There are thousands of choices we make each day, and all our choices have manifested the marriages we currently have. Keep making poor decisions, and I can assure you that you will eventually fall out of love.
Maybe you don’t want to fall out of love? Maybe your marriage is more important to you than your behavior has led your partner to believe it is? Every day is a new opportunity to create a more fulfilling marriage. The choices are all yours. Remember NOT choosing is also a choice. Choose love.