Eckhart Tolle wrote a bestselling book directed to your higher Self called “The Power of Now.” If he ever found himself in a playful mood and decided to parody his own work, it would be directed to your lower self and probably be called “The Powerlessness of Later.” That’s because later is the favorite word of the avowed procrastinator. For procrastinators who speak Spanish, the favorite word is mañana. As the proverb in that language goes: “Mañana is often the busiest day of the year.”
If the procrastinator were to have a shamanic power animal, it might be the ostrich, which sticks its head in the sand, and also lays the biggest egg. Laying an egg is very familiar for procrastinators, who also wind up having a lot of egg on their face.
Another choice might be the sloth, the mammal. Brazilians call sloths bicho-preguica, which translates from the Portuguese as “lazy animal,” because of their unbelievably slow movements. One reason their movements are so slow is because their digestion is even slower: the digestive process can take a month or more to complete. Of particular significance to procrastinators, sloths only move when it’s absolutely necessary, and when they do so it’s at a snail’s… er, make that a sloth’s pace. They have only about a quarter of the muscle tissue as that of other animals, which weigh about the same. Of course, when their lives are threatened, they can really kick it into high gear – like about 15 feet per minute. But that’s going to knock them out big time, and if they somehow escape, they’ve got some serious sloth-like resting to do.
Procrastinators need a theme song, and I think the one that best suits them is the Johnny Mathis classic, “The Twelfth of Never.” That’s about the date you can count on a procrastinator who’s what I call a “boxaholic” to get around to sorting through one of the many boxes that line their closets, garages, attics, guest rooms – and sometimes spare showers.
The favorite day of the year for the higher Self is clearly January 1, when New Year’s resolutions are made. But, without doubt, the favorite day on the calendar of the lower self-driven procrastinator is clearly February 29.
It’s the day they mark off in their minds as the day to get things done that have been put off for days, weeks, months and years. But if February 29 doesn’t follow February 28 on their calendar, they’ll just have to wait until the next leap year when it does – which is every four years. Oh, well.
Procrastinators, if they’re macho, might think of themselves as meat and potato guys. But it’s the potato part that most applies – couch potato, to be precise. Tougher male procrastinators may make fun of vegetarians, which is ironic, because it’s they, not salad-chompers, who veg out in front of television sets across this great land.
Your Lower Self and Your Higher Self
Your lower self is concerned with short-term pleasures. It wants what it wants now, not later, not unlike a child. Your higher Self, on the other hand, has a broader, more long-term vision, and is committed to ongoing achievement and fulfillment. It understands that some things take time to bring about, and it’s patient and content with slow and steady progress toward its goals.
An illustration might make this clearer. As mentioned earlier, January 1 is Higher Self Day throughout the country. On that day, millions of people make New Year’s resolutions in a variety of areas of their lives. Let’s suppose on that morning – okay, afternoon, if you’re still recovering from your lower self’s New Year’s Eve late-night partying – you envision an Idealized Body Program that consists of losing 25 pounds, getting really fit, toned and strong. But what happens if that night you’re invited to a college football bowl game party and you eye some really tasty potato chips, some delicious and creamy dips, and a to-die-for spread of cakes, cookies and chocolates. If your lower self takes over, you forget all about losing 25 pounds, and pig out as if you want to gain 25 pounds.
Or suppose, for example, that your resolution entails a regular program of tennis, jogging and softball. Your higher Self might visualize yourself at bat in the bottom of the ninth inning, sprinting around the bases with a game-winning homer. But if one morning you get an early call inviting you to play softball later that morning, and your lower self happens to answer the phone, the closest it might get to that visualized homer is thinking like Homer. Simpson, that is…”Umm, donuts.” So your lower self says no to the softball invitation. Then you feel low about it, and then you feel guilty about it, and so you say, “Why bother with softball?” So you take your guilt and drive it to the Krispy Kreme, and scarf down four custard-filled donuts and wash it down with a pint of chocolate milk. The lower self has taken over. If you have food issues – and this example sounds like you do – your lower self might go on a binge, and order in an extra cheese pepperoni pizza for dinner, wash it down with a six pack of beer (not light beer), and top it off with a dessert of a half gallon carton of ice cream, which you eat STANDING UP. Your lower self has procrastinated your higher Self’s Idealized Body Program.
When all that fat and sugar finally gets digested – hopefully faster than it takes a sloth to digest its food – you’ll likely have more than 25 pounds to lose. Hopefully, your higher Self wakes up sooner than later, and can get you back on track. How soon is a function of who wins out most of the time – your lower self or your Higher Self.
In the next chapter you’ll learn how classical physics can shed some light on this conflict by introducing an outside force to act on this battle.