Football season is here!
Are you psyched, or are you dreading it? Whatever you feel about the upcoming months of football games, we can make the football season more fun and easier if we become intentional about it regarding our relationships! Our marriages certainly don’t need to suffer. There is a saying that goes something like this: “We interrupt this marriage to bring you football season.” Uh, no. Our marriages can’t be “interrupted” for 18 weeks! When we watch football, some of us believe that every second counts! Well, let me ask you this: Have you ever considered that every second in your marriage matters?
During my first marriage, I was a “Football widow.” I felt neglected and resentful and ridiculed my husband’s obsessive love of football. I was envious of all the time my husband spent with his friends watching football. I secretly wished he would put that much time and effort into our marriage! Being a football widow wasn’t the only reason we divorced, but it certainly didn’t help. All the little things we do and don’t do eventually add up when we don’t prioritize our marriages.
Being mindful and intentional during these next few months can be a game-changer! If your spouse doesn’t enjoy the games as much as you do, let them know that quality time with them is important to you. This reassurance can make your partner feel valued and appreciated. Ask your spouse what they would like to do together and plan it.
Not a football fan? Do your best not to criticize your spouse like I did years ago. I promise there is a huge difference between saying things like, “All you care about is football,” and saying something like, “Honey, I am glad you enjoyed the game, when can we set aside some quality time together?” See how different that sounds? Another tip is to consider “football time” an opportunity to do something for yourself! A little autonomy is a precious aspect of any happy marriage!
Remember that even though football can be a unifying force (especially if you both love the game), if our partner’s level of interest doesn’t match our own, then there is potential for tension and disconnection. Remember that attention is one of the primary forms of love, and when we shift most of our attention to football (or anything else for that matter), our partners lose the attention they need and crave.
Don’t get me wrong – focusing on the games and spending time with our friends is perfectly fine. However, we can’t allow our love of anything to interfere with our love for our partners. Our hearts and minds must always be in the game of love!