Yup! There is no way around it. When we get married, we automatically begin thinking differently.
We believe that marriage is the be all, end all, and that we no longer need to pursue and romance our partners. And so it goes. Our marriages continue to change, and this may come as a shock: it’s not always for the best.
Did you know that the number one reason marriages change is because there is ineffective communication? We stop talking to each other, and then we end up feeling disconnected. Why do we stop wanting to know everything about our partners like we once did? The truth is we all change. Chances are that you and your partner are somewhat different than when you first met. When was the last time you asked your spouse what their hopes and dreams are? Showing interest in your partner can instantly reconnect the two of you. The key is to express ourselves openly and honestly in our marriages long enough for love to expand.
Another reason why marriages change is because many of us have families.
You know those little miracles we call children that seemingly consume us? Let’s face it. Children very often become the focus of our lives. We all love being devoted parents, but that doesn’t mean we should stop being loving devoted spouses. Being intentional and spending quality time alone with your spouse is essential. Your marriage depends on it! Believe it or not, you will be helping your children by setting an excellent example of what a good marriage is.
We all know that romance fades, but romance doesn’t have to die. We can rekindle a little bit of romance at any time. Pick up your partner’s favorite treat when you go to the supermarket. Did you know that they also sell flowers and cards? Being romantic and thoughtful is not difficult. We all know how to be loving. Let go of the resentments and fears that are suppressing the love within you. Have the courage to love first.
All marriages change, and all marriages have challenges. If we want the loving, healthy, and fulfilling marriages we all crave, we’ll need much more than romance, physical attraction, and shared interests. We need realistic expectations, a steadfast commitment, a lot of patience, and a willingness to love unconditionally through the years. Embrace the inevitable changes of marriage, and don’t give up on each other. The best is yet to be.