When working with clients I often notice that one reason they don’t get their needs met is they are not clear about what their needs are. This concept applies powerfully to sexual desire. Folks who have a rich sexual imagination are able to fantasize about sex and think sexy ideas, tend to have more sex and more quality sex.
So if you or your partner is looking to spice things up, put more energy into your sexual thought life. Invest some time thinking about what you like, what you would like to try or do differently, what really excites you and gets your engine revved.
The more attention we give to a thought or an idea, the more it... grows (or lubricates if you’re a woman!). Dedicate quiet time in your day to fantasize about being touched or trying something new. With a deep breath and at an appropriate moment, take the next step: share your fantasies with your partner. Send a sultry text or leave a short voice message sharing your thoughts. This is a sure fire way to create some sexual momentum.
If you need some inspiration or a boost getting started, ask your partner what he/she fantasizes about and talk about being willing to try it out. There are circumstances where a certain sexual fantasy may be intimidating to you or your partner, so go slow and ask questions so you both know where the boundaries are. This helps you create a secure space for this type of dialogue and exploration. I think Albert Einstein offered great advice when he said, “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” How interesting are your previews?