Dear Dr. Happy,
My girlfriend, Angie and I have been in relationship for six months. We get along great and are talking marriage for some time next year. Sounds good, right? So, what’s my question? Angie and I are very different. I am outgoing and have many friends of both sexes. Angie, on the other hand, is shy and has just one close girlfriend. I think her shyness is cute and sweet but, Dr. H, are we too different to make a success of marriage together?
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
While it is true that opposites attract, most successful, long term marriages involve those who are similar. We are naturally drawn to and fascinated by those who function well doing and living in ways that differ from us. However, as time passes, we may begin to wonder: “How can you actually live that way?” What attracted us in the beginning can turn annoying over time. This doesn’t mean that being opposites wrecks your chance for marital success. Still, you’d be wise letting more time go by before marrying. This will allow each of you to see how time affects how you feel about being with someone who functions in the world so differently from you. While your differences add difficultly, still, your marital success will depend much more on your long-term attitudes about those differences.