Many of us enter the new year hoping for change, but have you considered the changes you want to see in your relationship? Traditionally, love and marriage have been viewed through a lens of lifelong commitment, societal expectations, and sometimes, unrealistic ideals. But our world is constantly changing. Our perspective on love and marriage must change as well.
Many still hold a romanticized view of love as something that arrives spontaneously, often overloaded with passion, fun and an unwavering sense of devotion.
While those feelings can indeed be exhilarating, they’re rarely the foundation that sustains a long-lasting marriage. Instead, love must be seen as an evolving gift that requires nurturing, patience and understanding – because I can tell you that just loving each other will never be enough. If you want a more fulfilling marriage, you must commit to practicing love as a verb rather than a noun. Choosing love as a verb means actively expressing love through our actions and words and seeking understanding of our partners.
Making love a daily intention can transform the dynamics of any relationship or marriage. Fast.
We all change over time, and so should our expectations of our marriages. Communication is invaluable, yet too often, we misunderstand each other, experience a breakdown of communication, and struggle to forgive each other. Forgiveness is essential in our marriages – for ourselves and our partners. Mistakes and misunderstandings will happen; it’s part of being human. Some people still believe that if they love each other, things should be easy; there is no need to say, “I’m sorry,” and their partner should know how to make them happy, and they shouldn’t need to tell them. What many of us don’t realize is that open and honest discussions can strengthen the bond between partners, and ultimately provide us with the love and attention we all crave.
What if we believed sharing our thoughts and emotions could deepen our connection this year? What if we said the words we longed to say, but were too afraid to be ridiculed or rejected? I know I had a habit of holding my tongue often, and when I did, I felt resentment and anger building up, and we all know that is not a good feeling. I learned to share what’s on my mind with my husband, Brian. When we want something different, we must do something different.
So, as we enter this new year, let’s reshape our perspectives on love and marriage! Love is a decision.
A decision to learn how to openly communicate, and grant forgiveness so that we may create fulfilling relationships that not only survive, but thrive. May your new year be filled with love, growth and connection.
