I realize that the ego’s voice has most of us convinced that we’re powerless to manage our own destiny. There was a time when I felt much more kindly toward the ego, since it plays such a dominant role in the lives of so many people - but today I see it as something that needs to be destroyed. I no longer agree that since it’s in our lives, we might as well learn to love and accept it, troublesome as it might be; nor do I believe that it serves some useful purpose. Knowing that we’ve been created in the image of our Creator, and therefore have the same essence and the same ultimate potential, means that ego is out of the picture! Ego denies our original invisible reality, so it must be removed and completely banished from our awareness.
Realizing that ego is a traitor to our greatness is what ultimately set me free of its pull. I keep remembering that ego isn’t real, even as it still protests and attempts to delete my feelings of inspiration. My highest self responds with, “But remember, Wayne, what’s trying to drag you down isn’t real.”
What also helps to keep me on track is parenting.
I’m the father of eight children, so I can recall thousands of instances of being sucked into a black hole of confusion and uncertainty with my kids.
Arguments with them concerning schoolwork, questionable friendships, curfews, staying at a pal’s house, dress codes, dating, cigarettes or drugs, what was right from my perspective and wrong from theirs (and vice versa)... on and on this list could go. There were anger and hurt feelings, sleepless nights, and of course, much happiness, joy, and contentment, too.
As I look back on those years of parent/child conflicts, I realize today, in this now moment, that none of it exists. It isn’t real because it’s in the changing world of time and space. Similarly, I now realize that every conflict or struggle that exists, as well as those experiences I’d call good and joyful, are not real from the inspirational point of view. So if anything I experience is immediately going to fall into illusion, why not simply stay connected to Spirit through it all?
While I still have occasions when I slip, today I’m able to say that every conflict I have with my mostly now-adult children (or anyone else for that matter) isn’t really between me and them - it’s between me and God. I look for a way to be like God and stay loving, caring, forgiving, and peaceful within myself, suspending my need to be right and know - ing that in the next moment it will all be gone... which is true of everything that’s being played out in this illusory world.
I want to emphasize that I’m not suggesting that peace means being in a place where there’s no noise or trouble; rather, it means that in the midst of tur - moil, I can still feel calm. Not one of the things that I was so upset and out of control over matters today - not one. It’s all illusion fed by my ego’s need to make me important by “winning”, “being right” or “coming out on top.”
