Just in case some of you are going through feelings of anxiety, worrying about your New Year’s Resolutions -- relax.
What you need to know is that most New Year’s Resolutions are doomed to fail, even before the clock strikes twelve. This is because most resolutions have self-sabotaging elements built into them.
First, our resolutions are usually too grandiose in scale and encompass too large a canvas. They are usually built on wishful fantasies rather than realistic dreams.
Second, our resolutions are usually created to make up for past failures and lost time. Diets that never worked, stifling jobs that were never left, novels that were never written, and musical instruments that were rarely touched are now our priorities for the new millennium.
However, these old and unrealized goals are still screaming: “You screwed up this goal last year, so you better not screw it up this year!” Because these goals are fueled by past frustrations and disappointments rather than passion, patience, self-expression, and curiosity, they carry a lot of old baggage and demands. What a joyous way to approach your new millennium goals!!!
If you are already overwhelmed and having difficulty focusing in on your New Year’s Resolutions, it’s time to focus on creating a more nurturing, enjoyable, and realistic process. While you want to think big, break up your challenging goal into very small and doable miniactions. The goal is to create momentum on a daily basis. Here are some suggestions.
a) Rather than trying to lose 20 pounds, commit to releasing an ounce a day. Because we were taught never to lose anything, releasing is a more powerful and supportive verb. (By releasing just an ounce a day, in one year, you will shed more than 22 pounds.)
b) Rather than attempting to write a novel, commit to writing just a paragraph a day.
c) Rather than promising to practice your musical instrument an hour a day, agree to play it for a minimum of 15 seconds each day. (The hardest part of practicing is breaking the ice -- and beginning.)
In closing, remember that the secret to realizing your New Year›s Resolution is to build a masterful relationship with mini-actions and momentum. This can be accomplished by taking (or not taking) mini-actions on a daily basis.
In
addition, when and if you do not live up to your daily commitments,
rather than getting angry, disappointed, or depressed -- forgive
yourself. The powerful skill of self-forgiveness will produce less
internal struggle and strife. This, in turn, will give you more freedom
to return to your mini-action goals the very next day.
“So, let me ask you something: Do you have a place to stay tonight?” I ask without worrying about the young man passing by who apparently has never seen a homeless person. “Can’t stay anywhere unless it’s under 45 degrees,” he laments “What’s your name?” I ask. “Tom,” he replies, smiling. “What do you need, Tom?” I ask, knowing he needed more than I could possibly give. “A cold beer would be great,” he laughed. “How about a slice of pizza?” I ask as my husband walked over with a suspicious grin.
A group of friends pass by our conversation, laughing as though they are watching Saturday Night Live. Well, Saturday Night Live when it was still funny in the ´70s. Tom was apparently Steve Martin, although Steve Martin did not live on a bench with his life stuffed into a backpack. I asked Tom if he felt that the local ministries assisted enough with the homeless. He tells me sincerely, “Oh, yeah, they do the best they can.”
It was getting late, and I asked Tom again, “Do you want a piece of pizza?” He gratefully accepted and retreated to his bench. I turned as I walked to my heated car and wondered how many times I had passed Tom before our encounter.
They are always among us. The homeless are in restaurants, popular shopping venues, and even local schools. Why ignore them? Some believe if they ignore any problem, it will no longer be a problem. Does giving a homeless person a slice of pizza fix an issue that faces many local cities? Giving food is not a fix to homelessness. Realizing that homeless will always be there is a fix to our attitudes about those with less than us. We have all heard the old adage, “It’s all about attitude.” What’s yours?
