Profound insights from a deep and honest place inside of me come to the surface. Things I grapple with in the light of day become crystal clear. Maybe I am just too busy during the day to allow all the parts of myself to flourish that they wake me up at night to say, “Ok, now it’s our time. Let’s play!” Of course, these bright spots only come when I completely surrender. No negative little voice whispering about how tired I am going to be the next day or clock watching. I have to just get up, make some herbal tea, and do whatever comes to mind.
Sometimes it is meditation, which is actually quite relaxing and usually helps in not being so tired the next day. But that is not always what my late night self wants, so it cannot be forced. I try to listen. Sometimes I write (like now), sometimes I read, sometimes I watch T.V. I’ve made very important, sometimes life altering, decisions during this time that were somehow too overwhelming to deal with in the light of day. I’ve been surprisingly creative in this peaceful solitude. Poetry has, on some occasions, written itself. I’ve even become aware of some things that maybe I wish I were not aware of, but really, what good does denial do any of us? My inner, wiser self gently taps me on the shoulder during these nightly sojourns and whispers answers that are inaudible in the light of an active day.
I have found that when I stop fighting with any notion that I am supposed to be asleep and allow whatever will be to be, I am at peace. It is not always a gold mine. Let’s face it, sometimes it is back-toback reruns of Friends, but I find that the less I fight it, the easier it is to eventually get back into bed and fall asleep.
So the next time you find yourself sleepless wherever you are, might I encourage you to listen to yourself and be open to what you hear.
