In our minds, the holidays are supposed to be (not to sound cliché) “the most wonderful time of the year,” correct? Yet, as the holidays draw near and we think about all the decorating, all the cooking, all the shopping, all the spending, all the wrapping, all the cleaning, all the parties, and of course, we can’t forget about all those (pardon the sarcasm) outstanding “family dynamics,” somehow the holidays can seem very overwhelming, and oh so stressful. Sure, the holidays can be a lot of fun, but they certainly do come with a lot of pressure, commitment and stress, don’t they? On another note, have you ever given any thought to the people experiencing the holiday blues or loneliness?
Not everyone’s holidays are ideal. So why do laughter, togetherness, joy, and love elude so many of us during this time of year? Why are so many of us relieved when the holidays are over? Have the holidays become more of a burden than a joy?
Could we reduce some of the pressures and stresses of the holidays? How would it feel not to try so hard to make everything perfect? How would it feel to do less, and receive something more meaningful? Let’s explore some insightful ways to navigate the holidays, and discover how to make them less stressful and more joyful.
1. Listen to and be kind to yourself. Sometimes we give so much to others and tend to neglect ourselves. It’s important to take time for yourself and be intentional about everyday things like staying hydrated and getting enough rest. Do your best not to succumb to overeating or excess drinking to feel your best.
Focus on your emotions and allow yourself to feel your feelings. Being stressed, sad, frustrated, or even lonely during the holidays is okay. Recognize that you are human, and won’t be able to do everything perfectly, and no one expects that of you. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Remember, you are more than enough, and your well-being is essential.
2. Don’t overextend yourself. Now this is a challenging feat, especially during the holidays. We never want to miss out on the parties and festivities, but remember, trying to do everything can be exhausting. Avoid, or at the very least, limit draining people and activities. Be grateful for the invitations, but pick and choose which events will bring you joy and happiness. Permit yourself to say no without having to explain yourself to anyone. You will find that the things you say yes to will have more meaning. Start new traditions, or switch up family traditions that no longer work for you. Creating new traditions can bring a sense of excitement and hope for the future.
3. Create a budget and stick to it. Gift-giving is one of the best parts of the holidays, but it can also be quite stressful regarding our finances. Spending beyond our means can be detrimental, and we must only feel obligated to spend what we can afford. Create a realistic budget, but keep it simple. Make a list of what gifts you want to buy, for whom, and how much you want to spend, and save your receipts. Try downloading a free budgeting app. Start shopping early, which allows for better planning, and helps avoid the pressure of just getting something. Remember, a thoughtful gift goes a long way!
4. Set healthy boundaries with family. At the core of the holidays are our families, and while spending time together can be enjoyable, family dynamics can be stressful. Setting and communicating realistic expectations for our family members will help reduce stress and allow for more meaningful connections. Boundaries can be flexible; you can leave the room if a family member crosses a boundary. According to Brené Brown, we will feel used and mistreated if we fail to set boundaries and hold the people we love accountable. Setting healthy boundaries is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of self-respect and self-care. It helps us prioritize our needs and is vital to our mental health.
5. Ask for help. Nobody wants to feel like a burden. Asking for help can be challenging and does require vulnerability, but it is an invaluable skill. Use phrases like “I’d appreciate your help” or “Would you help me?” Keep in mind that the people that love you want to help you! Accepting help from others can help us avoid feeling overwhelmed during this very hectic season. Helping each other is a win-win solution. Intentionally slow down and focus on what matters this holiday season. Spending time with your family creates strong bonds and cherished memories. Play games, sing, watch festive movies, share stories, bake cookies, and most of all, feel the gift of love.
