People use language unconsciously. The person who wants to lose weight should focus on what she can consume in her eating regimen, rather than on what she can’t. Tell the subconscious mind you can’t eat pizza and ice cream, and it will soon start sending urges to eat them both at all-you-can-eat pizza buffets. Fill it with images of healthy salads, and it will send you desires for just that. To sum up the point beautifully, consider the wisdom of Swiss depth psychologist C. G. Jung, who wrote, “What you resist persists.” Resist pizza and ice cream, and you’ll get more of the same.
Avoid using words like trying and hoping. Yoda, the wise Jedi master in “The Empire Strikes Back” in the “Star Wars” saga, made this point eloquently when he told Luke Skywalker: “Try? There is no try. There is only do or not do.”
The other problem with the word trying is that it’s so trying – as in tiring, as in the expression, “You try my patience.” Olympians, who need to be as close to perfection as possible each time they perform for judges, are versed in visualizing and affirming perfection.
Another pair of words to use more consciously is desire and want. This instruction surprises most people, for the simple reason that desire serves as the bridge to the action, achievement and desire cycle. So what’s wrong with the words desire and want? Well, remember what I said about how the subconscious mind takes the words we think and speak literally? Saying “I want peace” is a simple enough desire, right? Wrong. Your subconscious hears that you want peace. One definition of the word want is “to feel the lack of something;” a definition of it as a noun is “the state of being poor.” So when you say you want peace, the subconscious hears that you lack peace and, instead of working to get some for you, it works to validate your experience of a lack of it. There’s a reason for that: one function of the subconscious mind is to validate your thoughts and words. It sees you as the captain of the ship, and it as the crew, and the crew always follows the captain’s orders.
How do you consciously work with the subconscious mind to achieve what you want? In other words, how do you optimize that part of your being? I chose the verb in the previous sentence carefully, because optimizing the subconscious mind is somewhat analogous to optimizing your website. Search engine optimization gurus know what catches Google’s attention. Subconscious mind optimization gurus know what catches the attention of your subconscious mind. The word “choose” is better than want. So the sentence, “I choose peace,” gives the Unconscious a direction, to manifest peace. The sentence, “I want peace,” on the other hand, gives the Unconscious a direction you don’t really like: namely, a condition in which peace is wanting.
The expression, “I choose to,” is a good substitution for “I have to.” Or “I should.” “Shoulds” are tough on “should-ers.” And “have tos” are fatiguing. “I choose to,” however, is liberating; it’s a statement of free will and therefore, liberating, whereas the other two are obligations. And we all know how much fun obligations feel like.
All this nitpicking may sound like the workings of a repressed schoolmarm, or someone without a sense of humor. I used to be a columnist for the “National Lampoon,” so I love laughter, and I usually see how funny life is. One thing that I assure you about, however, is that there’s nothing funny about sending disempowering messages to your Unconscious. One constricts, the other frees. It’s your choice. So which one do you choose?
There are other expressions to become conscious about. One expression consists of two dangerous words: “I can’t.” If you’re having difficulty falling asleep, don’t say, “I can’t sleep.” It’s wiser to say, “I’ve had a difficult time falling asleep tonight.” The latter gives voice to the past few hours; the former speaks of a command to the Universe to give you an ongoing experience.
Another expression to be conscious of is what follows the words, “I am...” “I am furious” suggests that fury is your nature, rather than an emotion you’re feeling at that moment.
