First, consider adopting this mantra this year: Out with the old and in with the new! Undoubtedly, there have been hurts, pain, and disappointments in your marriage. Welcome to reality. You and your spouse will always be imperfect. Learning to forgive each other is essential. Holding grudges is like a smokestack constantly polluting the air between you! Please consider focusing on letting go of the past and moving forward.
Another key to improving your marriage is elevating your communication skills. Yup. I know. You’ve heard it a million times. Yet have you made it a point to learn how to speak to your partner like someone you love? There is no getting around it. If you want your marriage to be better, you have no choice. Communication determines the quality of your relationship. Start with a small change like considering using the word “would” rather than “could” or “can.” Yes, it’s semantics, but you watch and see. Start saying honey, “would” you instead of “could” or “can you,” (do you hear how differently those phrases sound?) You will be pleasantly surprised at how your partner will respond.
Lastly, let’s talk about complaining. I’d like you to challenge yourself to go one whole day without complaining. Do you think you can do it? Have you seen the movie “Liar Liar?” In the movie, Fletcher’s son, Max, makes a wish that his father (played by Jim Carrey) can’t tell a lie for one whole day, and Max’s wish comes true! Fletcher didn’t realize how often he lied, until he was forced to tell the truth for one whole day. I know lying isn’t the same as complaining, but it can be just as detrimental to our relationships. We don’t realize how much we complain each day. Minimizing daily complaints can improve your relationship very quickly. When we complain, it sounds a lot like criticism to our spouses, and it sucks the fun out of our relationships. Here is a little secret: when you feel the need to complain arise, stop and think about your blessings!
Obviously, there are countless ways you can improve your relationship. Choose wisely. Choose love. May your heart and mind be open to something more in 2024. Happy New Year!
