I met an intriguing man recently. He was in town for an unspecified period of time, but told me he was thinking maybe a month or two. He is living a Nomadic Life – where he’s created the freedom to move about from place to place, as he is called or invited.
Tom Schiff had it all, according to how he internalized the messages embedded in his life since childhood. He was considered to be living in the one percent of the one percent during the height of his success. He had gobs of money, status, affluence… he had it all – but his story, we are about to learn, was to honor the inner call to find joy in life. He told me that joy, being present to the moment and love are now his true freedom, and it’s not about money at all. Where once he thought the high life could give him happiness, he has learned that it comes from the freedom to see that true joy is within.
Here we are in the month where joy is everywhere – on greeting cards, promotions, napkins and TV messages. Today, I am inviting you to think about what brings you joy, and how can you find it within.
For
Tom Schiff, winning the game of life has fallen to the wayside, and
being with life has become his road to travel. He texted me less than a
week after we met. “I am getting a feeling I’ll be leaving sooner than
expected. If you are going to interview me, I think it needs to happen
in the next few days.” We met 48 hours after that text. I don’t know
when he left town or where he is now. I do know he’s right where he’s
meant to be, and so are we.
Enjoy this little story, and may joy be with you through and through for this month and each one thereafter!
Tom grew up on Long Island, and at 15, moved to Florida. He was the oldest of three, attended the University of Florida for two semesters, but realized he was not a student.
“In my journey,” he shared with me, “the way life was set up in the mid-‘70s, I felt like I was free to explore. My parents were very loose. They chose their life, but I wasn’t ridden hard by them. I was seeing their choices and also exploring what I could do with mine at the same time. You know, if I put my finger in a socket, I would get shocked. I was living and learning and developing both self-reliance and personal responsibility.
“I started driving a cab after I left college, but the son of my parents’ friend, who worked on the commodities exchange, got me a job. I didn’t have to be a student. I was really good with numbers and was excellent at being present in the moment, and I did really well for myself, and eventually for my family. We lived a very affluent life in New York.
My kids went to good schools and my family traveled wherever we wanted to go. I had it all, according to what it means ‘having it all.’ Huge house, four cars, gorgeous property, all of it.
“I thought having a family and doing well were what life was all about, but it became less satisfying every day. I became aware that there was less and less joy in my life. Play golf, go to dinner, try a new restaurant… life became measured by TV series: ‘Seinfeld,’ ‘Hill Street Blues,’ ‘Mad Men.’ These were the markings of my life. Having children and experiencing life through them was very satisfying, but once the boys grew up and became self-sufficient, I lost that attachment and could no longer bolster myself through their successes.
“Helping people out and sharing through charities and others in need was very fulfilling for a while, but I was becoming more and more aware of trying to receive joy though acquiring things and having stuff to do and helping others overcome their challenges, and everything became disillusioning.
“Then, on September 11, 2001, it hit me – the two most important things in life are number one: I have only one life to live, and number two: I will die. On 9-11, people I knew just disappeared. The awareness that I needed to enjoy more and more every day and live more honestly became the momentum to catalyze me to make new choices.
“I didn’t make a plan, but I started exploring new realities other than the one that was perpetuated. Boxed-up living was no longer resonating with me. Becoming more honest through self-inquiry is where my freedom came from, and I started asking myself, ‘Why are you going along with this when you’re not happy?’
“Looking back, I can see that holding on was harder than letting go, and that was the biggest struggle. I didn’t necessarily have an ‘aha! moment’ or epiphany, it was a gradual process that led me to embark on what I now know is a nomadic life. I released my worldly possessions and let go of everything that had memories or was part of the past, and set out to see the world through new eyes. I know in my heart I did my best in everything I did, and that is what I carry with me all the time.
“I now go where people genuinely want to be with me and for as long as that lasts. The commitment is to be where I want to be for as long as I want to be and to remain sensitive to how it’s all working…. I don’t want to be anywhere where I’m there in sympathy that someone feels bad for me. I travel to new places and I learn along the way. I come in with nothing, and today, the main currency in my life is love, joy and my presence.”
Tom’s Wisdom Gifts
Forgiveness is the gift we give ourselves. We’re all doing the best we can in every moment.
Love, Freedom and Joy come from within – they are gifts you give yourself!
My final question to Tom was off the cuff – outside of the interview, but nonetheless I asked, “Hey Tom, do you think you’d like to settle down one day and give up the Nomadic Life?”
He replied, “One day I might wake up and feel I want to wake up every day here… but I won’t know that till it happens.”
Pretty much sums it up…. We’ll know it when we feel it!
