Spice it up

Think of the last time you felt sexy... go ahead, I'll wait! How long ago was it? Since breakfast...  or longer? Much, much longer? Feeling sexy, desirable and attractive are important components of both positive self-esteem and a healthy sex life. Unfortunately we've been taught through social influence and the media that sex appeal is based largely on physical appearance or weight, fashion and "swagger". This is simply not the entire picture. Often times, how sexy we feel is closely related to how sexy our mind is! Yep, a sexy mind. Typically our own negative thoughts, painful feelings of anger, shame or fear, and even beliefs shaped by the media get in the way of our true sexual self. For instance, when someone is upset or confused, can you see it in their face? What we are thinking and feeling affects our appearance, physiology and mood. If you want to feel more sexy, focus on thinking sexy thoughts. Try exposing yourself to sexy things like a burlesque show in downtown Fort Lauderdale (www.barstache.com) or make a play list of your favorite "in the mood music". Connect with your body and notice what sexy really feels like for you. And finally, change the way you speak to yourself in your mind! Shut down those negative thoughts and begin telling yourself things that you want to hear. It's not only about dressing up our outsides to feel sexy inside, it's also about reflecting the sex appeal that lives inside and allowing it out!